This Is Life!

Saturday, July 26, 2008

damn it!i hate myself!nape la ko suke nyusahkn org matun?tlgla stop..damn it damn it damn it!i keep on repeating the same mistake!damn me!bodo!i dun care about him anymore.hes a jerk.yes he is.definitely he is.and i am a fool.its not bcuz i still like him.its bcuz of org lain yg kene.aku jaja cte?yes i did!but i told people da truth.nothing but the truth.i dun have any intention nk sshkn org lain or wt org sakit ati.yet i did.tolongla tutup my mouth somebody?anybody?skrg ni im not sure wuttodo.he's asking me a favor nk knal kn die ngn this girl.tp im afraid nnt aku la yg dpersalahkn.kecoh.sebok hal org.still nk die n all.ah!sudala.leave me alone.i hate sume org at this moment.

I scribbled at ;; 1:21 PM

Thursday, July 24, 2008

i still have nothing to share here..im learning to let go..im learning to move on..alhamdulillah im doing ok so far..i have good friends around me..adoi..aku rase cm same je post ni ngn yg dulu2 nye..haha..papelaa..to ezaan, do not worry..im still standing strong..ok?=) i love my frens..even my new frens..u know who you are..cuz i love my frens so much..oi oi..i have to go..nk g futsal..bye love!*wink*

I scribbled at ;; 4:36 AM

Friday, July 18, 2008

i really2 hate this feeling here in me..argh!damn it!y do i really2 like u?bangang ke bodoh?bodoh!yeah i know im stupid!stop giving me advices cuz they wont work!i tried several times to minat sesape tp it wont last!i tried to keep myself busy but he's always in my mind!u know what?i even cried in front of my ex while telling him i cant forget you-know-who..me and my ex 3 years kot..it was easy for me to get over him..but you-know-who? damn hard!bangang!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!y y y???owh GOD!pnatla=( i just want to be happy..kesian plak kt my ex cuz i know he still likes me yet he has to listen to my ngadu2 =( im sure its painful..tp tu laa..aku da stop ckp sal you-know-who da..kene respect his feeling..when i asked him why do u still want me the other day, he said ive made a promise to jage u right? =( sweet tp sian..aku heartless..its all because of you-know-who!damn u!damn u!damn u!all those msgs mean nothing ke?totally nothing?when i asked you dlu am i a rebound?u told me no..u even said i know what i said..argh!fool u!ure such a big liar!im totally no one to u!u just simply ditched me..u just simply walk away without turning back!wheres ur 'stay with me..'? i did!but u left!wheres ur 'i trust u in everything beyond my expectation,i keep holding on to u'? where am?why?nape tpu when u know sume tu tpu?nape?nape?i still question myself until now..u hurt me so bad..but i still like u=(

listening to i will be by avril

I scribbled at ;; 8:17 AM

Thursday, July 17, 2008

There's nothing I can say to you
Nothing I could ever do to make you see
What you mean to me
All the pain the tears they cry
Still you never said goodbye and now I know how far you'd go
I know I let you down but its not like that now
This time I'll never let you go

I will be all that you want and get my self together
Cause you keep me from falling apart
All my life I'll be with you forever
To get you through the day and make every thing ok

I thought that I had every thing I didn't know what life could bring
But now I see honestly
You're the one thing I got right
The only one I let inside
Now I can breath cause you're here with me
And if I let you down I'll turn it all around
Cause I would never let you go

Cause without you I can't sleep
I'm not gonna ever ever let you leave
You're all I got
You're all I want
Yeah
And without you I don't know what I'll do
I could never ever live a day with out you
Hear with me do you see your all I need

I scribbled at ;; 1:47 PM

lmbt hell class..at 5..and i have to go out early as i want to renew my road tax kt kj nye post office..acap has texted me telling that class is as usual this evening..seb la kn..huhu..n tonight ade baby shower for hana's sis..makan makan makan..oh yeah..talking about food and eat..ive gained like 1 kg within this week..adoi!!!gile menggemuk!my sis da bising da..konon2 concern..hahahahaha..kene wt sit up yg shaz ajar tu laa..perut pn da boroi da..adoii aii!!

2 days ago..ktorg maen futsel..divided into two teams..1st team shaz shidah didieamin me and ejand..2nd team exact ayue nuhe buddy and hannan..oh yeah, our team won by 6-3..hula~!tho i didnt make any goals, tp bangge la my team won..hahaha..its going to be a weekly event da..nx week on thursday..ley la aku menguruskn sket badan..huhu..xdela bulat manjang..nk jogging everyday saturday nite..uiks..gle laa..hahaha..nk mengamalkn gaye idop sehat!hahaha..

da2..aku mls nk ckp byk..nk g masak...lapar ni..huuhu..pastu siap2 nk g wt road tax..huhuhu

bye2!

I scribbled at ;; 10:45 AM

Monday, July 14, 2008

mmg terbaik la..im in car..waiting for my class to finish..well,i arrived late td!argh!i arrived at 930am kot!so obviously aku x masuk class..ni yg nk baran ni..xde laa..i wasnt expecting i wud b this late..at least if smpi at 845am slumber je lg nk masuk..adeyh!i woke up at 630am like usual..tp aku maen facebook jap!kn da lmbt!huhu..aku turun g kete kul 745am..panaskn kete dahtu nk jalan la kn..yg bangang nye,nk kuar basement jammed gell!benci benci benci!bodo nye kete yg park kt tepi2!kn da susah org nk kuar!bodo!padan muke!calar da kete ko kene langgar ngn byk hell kete!huhuhu..ingatkn suey kt ctu je..skali kuar ldp pn jammed gk!stress!so lagila aku extra lmbt!aku lepas ou dlm 815am..patut da x jem..ingat nk speed..skali jammed all the way to federal..bodo tul!argh!!ending2 aku lmbt!i thot of renting a room kt shah alam..tahla..xley la lmbt2..plus aku da final year..kene struggle gk laa..plus nk pocket money g germany=( so i really really have to score my finals!cane nk score ngn berwarna warni nih!sem ni berat tau!24crdt hours kot!stress stress!k laa..ade discussion..chow!

I scribbled at ;; 9:46 AM

Saturday, July 12, 2008

my horoscope for today sgt best..focus on my own strengths or strength?aku ade strength ke?hehe..i do have one..ckp nonstop..hebat tu!xyah ade comma or fullstop..haha..syek entry emo je..arini nye xmo emo2..nnt aku gle..hahaha..arini gath..cant wait to go..nk lepas stress..da ready hat da..well its going to be held kt botanical garden..i heard tmpt tu panas..so i dun dare to itamkn myself yg da ready itam..owh tidak!!!!hahaahaha..

smlm elly dtg..ni haa kt sebelah ngah tdo..my les partner..huhu..lame hell x update all the gossips ngn die..puas aku bercerite pasal si jahat..haha..lepas geram..eh eh..winamp aku ni cm pepaham je..kuar lagu apologize la plak..i used to x brape obsess this song..now i am..ayoo..ter-influenced by someone la ni..huhuh..im doing ok so far..fine la aritu x btol..baru je cnfess kt my ex that i cant forget that-best-non-appreciative-guy-in-this-world.tersenyap die..but what can i do..aku da xde feeling towards him..im referring him to my ex..huhu..he's a better person now..happy for him..we are frens now..bkn cm dlu..aku bangang kot dgr ckp you-know-who yg kekonon kuat jeles..pretender tul!padahal ko la berkepit ngn ramai pmpuan..chetss..sungguh baik aku ni rupenye..a fren once advised me to be jgnla baek sgt smpi kene pijak kpale..hahaha..xpe..hes no longer in my life..plus aku means nothing to him..x guna tul!huhuhu..sudala matun ckp pasal die wt hangin je..rase nk bom melaka pn ade..tp wan elly ayue kt sane..xley la kn..hehehe..cm sal die tu mmg x kn abes til tahun gajah..babi..wahh!da lame x mencarut..kahkahkah..it feels so good!lala~ babi babi babi...haha..weh!suka ati aku ek nk ckp ape kt blog ni..haha..ayat xyah nk tapis2..tp aku x ckp la org tu babi..situation skrg ni rase nk wt aku maki the whole day..baru puas!huhuh..

sem ni sgtla busy!nx week bg proposal for trip to kwsp..then ade presentation ENT600 kne ckp sal new inventions..nx 2 weeks proposal for research general insurance..a small thesis..then the following week aku ade english programme kt permata lak..siot aa petronas..aku nk tumpang elly tdo kt uniten..jauh dowh ulang alik..ade ke patut die wt non residential..sian dowh ktorg..huhuhu..then mid term break..pastu aku g jb lak..kawen mmbr akak aku..so ezaan and huda..please buat welcome banner ye!hahaha..ape lg ek..so far tu je la plan yg wujud kt kpale otak ni..ill update later if ade lg..busy kn?kalah pm..haha..ni x renew road tax lg ni..xde duit!=( duit claim x masuk lg..rebate kete tu plak org kate after sebulan pas renew br dapat..nk duit!nk germany lg ni..pening2!nk email org vatican city lg..aku skrg gang ngn pope siot..hahaha..semata2 italy la ni..mmbr lak ckp better g prague..prague ktne wey?aku lemah aa geography ni..hehehe...

da2..pnat da typ..nk wat sandwich!chow rakan2!syg awk sume!kahkahkah!mcm iklan kanak2 seyh aku..syuh!

listening to innocence by avril

I scribbled at ;; 8:11 AM

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

aku bangang cuz suke ko

im a fool to still be wanting u

I scribbled at ;; 9:48 PM

the title says it all..haha..bangang n bengang..what a great combination..bengang with myself yg bangang..yes indeed!im bangang..hahaha..i cud still remember mase jama asked me, 'otak control hati or hati control otak?'..tough one kn?its impossible to get the answer from any books..ssh seyh!klh soklan spm pn ade!haha..bangang kn?when it comes to bende related to feelings, sume bende jadik ssh..u know, cm u always lose control..u always dont have the guts ape yg ko rase..u always blame urself 4 everything..i have to admit im that type of person..i may look strong yet im very2 weak..argh!im definitely pulling myself down..down..down..into the darkness..uish..seram la plak..haha..it wud be very much appreciated if ko xde kt darat cpt2..hahaha..aman jiwa raga seyh..but i have to admit la..the feeling is still there..even worse, stronger..what should i do?keep myself busy?owh u dunno how busy my life can be..busy la cane pn, this thing stil melekat kt otak..ble marah..mmg marah..then after a few hours start aa sedih melalak2 cm org bodo yg bangang..ni yg bengang kt diri sendiri..bodo la matun..dun let urself get caught ngn feeling bodo ni!argh!!!=(

I scribbled at ;; 9:17 PM

Monday, July 7, 2008

i got irritated by sumthing..but i guess i wont write it in here tho i have privatized(does this word even exist?) my blog....y must i be like terase over that stupid thing?!arghh..was that person even perli aku?i dun know..i rarely think positively..must i say i hate that sms?i can smell cm ade sumthing fishy..xdela fishy,cm gle ey ko pehal haa?xyah la kot nk ckp cmtu..show some respect..fine aku x ptt terase..cuz mebbe the sms die anta bkn meant for me..tp, how can that sms bkn for aku?cnfusing jap..argh!

i was far away from me when i was with u..damn it..like aku yg started everything..like aku yg tergedik2..like i have no pride..like it was all my fault..stop giving bullshitted promises..adoi..byk da word aku create arini..i hate u i hate u and i really2 hate u..bangang nye matun!bodo..napela ko suke die..mmg ko bangang..move on la oi!!!nk tunggu2 wtpe?bodo!

leave me alone!

I scribbled at ;; 5:57 PM

Thursday, July 3, 2008

i just finished watching two movies!wanted and hancock!wanted best!a bit cnfusing but cool!the hero xde la hensem tp smart..yg pntg angelina jolie sgt hot!huhu..while hancock sgt hilarious!klaka nk mati!best!will smith sgt la pndi belakon!huhu..but the sad part, ending die cm sedih and this movie is a bit x logic..haha..xpe2..u guys shud watch these two movies!huhu..

on monday aritu i watched doomsday!haa..ni mmg sgtla cool!the leading actress smart nk mati!haha..again ending sedikit sedih..haha..tp ok laa..ade unsur2 ganas..main tembak sesuka rase je..huhu..nx movie on the list, sepi and superman!yeah!huhuhu

I scribbled at ;; 5:34 PM

im looking through the window..there are only a few people passing by..well its still early in the morning..even the starbucks guy asked me just now 'so early?'..i gave him a smile..its been a week since ive arrived in kk..nothing has changed..oh yeah, lesser PTI (pendatang tanpa izin)..they have been conquering the city of sabah for a quite number of years..semak gk mate..but since the day yong teck lee dare our pm about this matter, the government barula take some actions tgkp all these people from house to house..yeah..its gud tho..i plan on watching 2 movies today..the ticket price is a lot cheaper..compared to kt kl, rm4 cheaper ok..and u can get one fine meal with rm4..this one week has been tense..da lame x balik kot..and da last tym aku balik pn,december..b4 i got back to kl, many things had happened..so ble balik ni, really reminds me of a few things *sigh* im listening to over you..da jadi fav la plak..padahal..hurm hurm hurm..

look forward nk blk kl..start class and all..gathering lagi..nk lupe bende yg x patut ingat..i should be living a happy life by now tp haih..da almost 3 months..waa..lame gk..tp sket pn xpnah lupe..yet makin ingat..bangang gk aku ni..huhu..cane nk lupe ek?i wud be very happy if there is a medicine to forget something yg painful..people may say pehal ko xley lupe?move on la!da xyah pke!people can say whatever they want but do they know how it feels being hurt badly?ade la kot yg phm..tp...rmbut same hitam hati lain2..tp abang aku ckp hati lain2 tp darah same merah..wow..huhuhu..

this post sgt emo..tp xpelaa..sukati aku kn?haih...ni list of songs yg i used to dedicate to him and he used to dedicate to me..

letto-sebelum cahaya
peterpan feat chrisye-menunggumu
avril-innocence
chris brown-with you
jordin sparks feat chris brown-no air
silverchair-miss you love
ryan cabrera-on the way down
cascada-everytime we touch
aslyn-thats when i love you
buckcherry-sorry
avant feat nicole-lie about us
miley cyrus- see you again
nsync-selfish
yuki-cant wait
mcfly-all about you
the click five-just the girl

ni plak list of songs that will remind me of him..

faber drive-tongue tied
chris daughtry-over you
onerepublic-apologize
celine dion-alone
taylor swift-teardrops on my guitar
rihanna-take a bow
natasha bedingfield-soul mate
leona lewis-better in time
the click five-empty
avril-tomorrow
incubus-love hurts
james morrison-the pieces dont fit anymore
kerispatih-tapi bukan aku
yovie & nuno-menjaga hati
switchfoot-dare you to move
diddy feat keisya cole-last night

teramatla pathetic..haha..biarla..like i care org nk ckp ape..just because of this entry,aku nk privatekn blog jap..haha..nnt aku rase nk delete entry ni baru aku publicize blk blog aku..hahaha..

bye2 so long!

I scribbled at ;; 10:12 AM