august 29, i went to see avril's concert at stadium..it was fun..it was a worth going concert..plus, i am a big fan..and people, she can sing live ok?haha..the best part definitely, when she sang innocence..my fav song and once his..it reminded me of him for a while..kejap je pn..da lagu lain, terkinja2 gk..xde sedih2..haha..why should i?i was attending a concert ok?theres no need 4 me to reminisce that particular memory..but outside, there was a group of people, wearing tudung labuh and songkok, trying to buat bantahan against avril's concert..this was what my sis's fren told me when she went to surau for prayer..they gave khutbah they gave ceramah they tried advising the muslims not to attend the course<--[what was i thinking??concert ok?haha]..and, i dont think they made it..ye laa..da beli ticket kn?xkn org xmasuk..huhu..me and my sis pretending to be the non malay of sabahan..we used our bahasa all the tym especially when we were passing by this group..haha..budget cina la kn?kekonon mate sepet..hahaha
august 30, i woke up quite early in the hope of sending my car kt anp awl2..my car like usual byk prob..huhu..nk kene tukar timing belt..bunyik cm ade iguana kt dlm engine..huhu..lame x check tho..and an advice for u girls, please take good care of ur car..and if ade something wrong, please amik tau and dont just 'abang/ayah/papa, kete cm ade rosak'..its your car..take responsible on it..hurm..i had to wait for my sister to finish chit chatting with her frens who came over for a sleepover after the cncert..the initial plan was to hantar her at 11am and yeah ktorg gerak at 130pm..big difference..huhuh..it was rain heavily, so i arrived at anp's hse at 4pm..aduyaii..sgt lmbt ok?huhu..sah2 la kete x siap kn..we had lunch together and so he sent me back after picking up his frens as they wanted to celebrate merdeka together..after i reached home..i switched on my laptop and the tv..and i fell asleep..what a celebration!=)
this is a birthday wish that would never be said..that would always be kept and locked forever..and this is definitely for u..HAPPY 21ST BIRTHDAY AM, may god bless you always with love.
and yeah!i havent finished studying..need to sumbat that schedule between my activities today..alahai..owh yeah!not to forget i have to stop by at my sis's office to take my notes from her..mcm lecturer la plak kakak aku..haha..i ask her to print my notes..tu yg xbace lg..kene struggle b4 1030 tomorrow and i still dont know where to sleep tonight =(
duit scholar x msk lg!argh!=( kecik ati ngn en petronas
i was planning on giving u this..a small gift but simple and meaningful to me..
first edited pic..cm buruk je aku edit..haha..xpela..i love the bunge tho..!
dear you,
i think it's time you realize that saying sorry sometimes is not enough to make up to what you have put people through. anger and malice do not wind down over a simple 'sorry' especially coming from your tone which makes it sounds so trouble-free and meaningless if i could be truly truthful here. yes, it was as if everything u put me through was nothing but a slip of tongue and of act. i really thought i could forgive you.. but i realized i just can't. and i want to tell you that very clearly. to forgive you.. well maybe i someday will but i clearly haven't. my heart is full of anger and full of hatred and grudge and anything to do with that for you. i loved you once. with all my heart. and all my soul. i put everything i could on the line for you. i tried everything i could to reach you, to make you see me the way that i see you. but at the end of the day.. yes maybe i am never good enough for you. and that i am just a worthless being for you and thanks for making me realized that soon enough. and i thought u might fancy knowing that - all my life, i've never regreted knowing someone. but now im telling you, you're the first person i regret to have come accrossed to. i regret i even know you. i regret them all. i suffered long enough and i hate to say that i am still suffering. because that pain, that pain i hold inside, is still burning and flaming like everything happened just yesterday. and this is where i can really say.. this hatred, is born out of love.. and.. just so you know, i will go on walking this life dragging these grudges with me for as long as i couldn't find a reason to forgive you. i have no good wishes for you this time because i wish you nothing good just as much as you have made me feel - that i am nothing good to you.
so this is the smallest bit of my malice that spurs..out of the things i still hold against you. i don't care how you or your gazillion friends will judge me on this. because all i know, is i am the one suffering you all this while. not them. not f*cking them. so bitch out those thoughts for now.
I'm not the type to get upset and cry
Cuz I never leave my heart open
Never hurts me to say goodbye
Relationships don't get deep to me
Never got the whole in love thing
And someone can say they love me truly
But at the time it didn't mean a thing
My mind is gone, i'm spinning round
And deep inside, my tears i'll drown
I'm losing grip, what's happening
I stray from love, this is how I feel
This time was different
Felt like, I was just a victim
And it cut me like a knife
When you walked out of my life
Now i'm, in this condition
And i've, got all the symptoms
Of a girl with a broken heart
But no matter what you'll never see me cry
Did it happen when we first kissed
Cause it's hurting me to let it go
Maybe cause we spent so much time
And I know that it's no more
I shoulda never let you hold me baby
Maybe why i'm sad to see us apart
I didn't give to you on purpose
Gotta figure out how you stole my heart
How did I get here with you, i'll never know
I never meant to let it get so, personal
After all I tried to do, stay away from loving you
I'm broken hearted,
I can't let you know
And I won't let it show
You won't see me cry
All my life...
i just watched ayat2 cinta..very touching..knowing myself yg tissue-hearted, i cried..xdela nngs beriban tu.huhu..almost in tears la org kate..haha..
everyone thinks that i put other's priority before me..but i dont anymore..ive changed..yup..i have to admit it..im becoming a person who has mutated and im sure u guys are not going to like it..yesterday someone asked me why were i acting as such?haha..da heartless dowh skarang..for what reason?u can think of that without me giving any hints..haha..i love frens still..should i list down the names?naah, there is no need for that..it can start a controversy some more..hahaha..ive had enough of drama..i just wanna live happily and freely..
waiting for a prince falls down directly to me<--not gonna happen..but one thing that i cant hardly wait for is to graduate..yes..one year to go and im finished!haha..works works works..xley skip..kene ade sick leave..nonsense..hopefully pet amik aku la..it shall be fun..keje ngn hana skali..haha..hana hana, happy x if keje ngn aku?haha..
da2..nk g carik food..lapo ni..huhu..bye2
listening to -one step at a time
11/8 2 questions for risk theory
13/8 proposal ent600
15/8 assignment pension schemes
25/8 presentation general insurance
26/8 test ent600
27/8 presentation ent600
test risk theory
test general insurance
28/8 talk pension schemes
29/8 test pension schemes
concert avril
2/9 oral test jepun
9/9 written and listening test jepun
11/9 trip to SOCSO
i hate myself for everything that had happened.
i just wanna be happy.
wish that our path hadnt crossed.
im still addicted to u no matter how hard i try to let u go.
i push myself to the limit until im no longer exist or alive.
im transparent.
i hate people who blame other people. yes . i never stop blaming myself.
i hate people who doesnt speak for his/her right.
i hate hypocrites.
i like criticism.
i love entertainment and life is entertaining.
im still learning. yes. i need to change.
i need a new environment where i can have everything to myself and no one can take it awat from me.
obviously, i hate u. no doubt. it's u. ure a parasite. u destroy other people's life. u thot that everything is as simple as abc. no. ure wrong.
i thot i could trust u. but u took advantage. u bastard!
huh. i was far away from me when i was with you. yet, u took advantage again!
